Ask Prestone...

[Cuckoo For Caca]

Studies have shown that eating lots of red meat can increase the chances of bowel cancer. This is because humans have a long gut and red meat begins to decompose before it leaves the body.

Does this mean that I should go for a shit as soon as I feel it 'coming on', or is it safe to hold it in indefinitely til I find a nice gold-plated marble shithouse?

I don't know what scares me most; bowel cancer or dirty toilets.

[partyvan<3salcmene]

Studies have shown that eating lots of red meat can increase the chances of bowel cancer. This is because humans have a long gut and red meat begins to decompose before it leaves the body.

Does this mean that I should go for a shit as soon as I feel it 'coming on', or is it safe to hold it in indefinitely til I find a nice gold-plated marble shithouse?

I don't know what scares me most; bowel cancer or dirty toilets.

Take that shit immediately. Never wait.

[Prince Harry]

Everything causes cancer these days. I heard that biting your cheek gives you cancer lulz

[Joe]

partyvan speaks the truth.

[Metrobone]

Take that shit immediately. Never wait.

i had a shit in revo on weds and roper and adelphi on thurs!

[Hex]

Studies have shown that eating lots of red meat can increase the chances of bowel cancer. This is because humans have a long gut and red meat begins to decompose before it leaves the body.

Does this mean that I should go for a shit as soon as I feel it 'coming on', or is it safe to hold it in indefinitely til I find a nice gold-plated marble shithouse?

I don't know what scares me most; bowel cancer or dirty toilets.


I LOL'd hard.

[Joe]

Everything causes cancer these days. I heard that biting your cheek gives you cancer lulz

I think whoever told you that was saying it tongue-in-cheek really.

[Rach]

i had a shit in revo on weds and roper and adelphi on thurs!

Please tell me it was in the toilets? :eek:

[thejoker]

Especially when you're in polite company. Don't even wait to get to the bathroom... just go right there.

[Hex]

Please tell me it was in the toilets? :eek:


Paddy shits where Paddy pleases.

[Metrobone]

Please tell me it was in the toilets? :eek:


it was..... this time!
Paddy shits where Paddy pleases.


amen to that

[partyvan<3salcmene]

http://worldofwonder.net/image1/caganer001.jpg

RIGHT !!!!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2391/2077316011_8a3ebd96b4.jpg?v=0

WRONG !!!!

[Fugazi]

Studies have shown that eating lots of red meat can increase the chances of bowel cancer. This is because humans have a long gut and red meat begins to decompose before it leaves the body.

Does this mean that I should go for a shit as soon as I feel it 'coming on', or is it safe to hold it in indefinitely til I find a nice gold-plated marble shithouse?

I don't know what scares me most; bowel cancer or dirty toilets.

The lining of your colon is literally infested with bacteria that take care of that decomposition process anyway. The fact is that food needs to be broken down, i.e. 'decomposed' for you to digest it anyway. Every animal organism does this in one way or another. In fact, meat begins to decompose as soon as it dies. So every piece of meat you put in your mouth is in some sort of state of decomposition. The friendly bacteria in your body should, if you're healthy, take care of the unfriendly bacteria that could develop from the food in your gut.

It's also not necessarily a bad thing for you to hold onto a bowel movement for a little while, as long as we're not talking more than a few hours. Your anal sphincter is, after all, a muscle, and 'holding it' is a form of exercise. Same goes for holding it when you need to take a piss.

Everything in moderation, basically. I don't eat red meat at every meal, or even every day, and neither should anyone else. A varied diet is key to good health.

[partyvan<3salcmene]

You are making sense. GTFO

The lining of your colon is literally infested with bacteria that take care of that decomposition process anyway. The fact is that food needs to be broken down, i.e. 'decomposed' for you to digest it anyway. Every animal organism does this in one way or another. In fact, meat begins to decompose as soon as it dies. So every piece of meat you put in your mouth is in some sort of state of decomposition. The friendly bacteria in your body should, if you're healthy, take care of the unfriendly bacteria that could develop from the food in your gut.

It's also not necessarily a bad thing for you to hold onto a bowel movement for a little while, as long as we're not talking more than a few hours. Your anal sphincter is, after all, a muscle, and 'holding it' is a form of exercise. Same goes for holding it when you need to take a piss.

Everything in moderation, basically. I don't eat red meat at every meal, or even every day, and neither should anyone else. A varied diet is key to good health.

[Cuckoo For Caca]

I don't over-eat red meat because it's generally more expensive. I think at the end of the day it's far, far better that some of the mechanically-removed chicken and factory-grade pork that goes into tinned meat products.

I'm also a busy guy. I ain't got time to shit. Besides, I'm a prude and need a whole room to myself. I want it to be an intimate moment. No fat guy groaning and straining his kebab and fried breakfast out in the cubical next to me.

[Hex]

No fat guy groaning and straining his kebab and fried breakfast out in the cubical next to me.


I'll take my shit elsewhere next time then!

[PeteLMC]

Some dude in work was taking a giant heave in trap three this afternoon.

His body odour spelt worse than his bowel movement.

I had to hold my breath while taking a piss.

True story.

[joe ersatz]

i went for a shit in the market toilets the other day - went into the cubicle dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me:
'Hello mate, how are you going?'
I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude I replied
'Yeah, not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again
'So, what are you up to mate?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said. Unsure what to say, I replied
'umm, just having a quick poo... How about yourself?'
I then heard the voice for the third time .....
'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back . I've got some `D**khead` in the loo next to me answering everything I say.'

whoops

[Rach]

i went for a shit in the market toilets the other day - went into the cubicle dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me:
'Hello mate, how are you going?'
I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude I replied
'Yeah, not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again
'So, what are you up to mate?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said. Unsure what to say, I replied
'umm, just having a quick poo... How about yourself?'
I then heard the voice for the third time .....
'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back . I've got some `D**khead` in the loo next to me answering everything I say.'

whoops


That is the funniest thing I have ever heard in my whole life, ****ing classic :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[James]

i went for a shit in the market toilets the other day - went into the cubicle dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me:
'Hello mate, how are you going?'
I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude I replied
'Yeah, not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again
'So, what are you up to mate?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said. Unsure what to say, I replied
'umm, just having a quick poo... How about yourself?'
I then heard the voice for the third time .....
'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back . I've got some `D**khead` in the loo next to me answering everything I say.'

whoops

Hahahahaha, ****ing ace.

Joe, didn't you shit in the woods/field/by a car at Dolphinstock?

[Rach]

i went for a shit in the market toilets the other day - went into the cubicle dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me:
'Hello mate, how are you going?'
I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude I replied
'Yeah, not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again
'So, what are you up to mate?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said. Unsure what to say, I replied
'umm, just having a quick poo... How about yourself?'
I then heard the voice for the third time .....
'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back . I've got some `D**khead` in the loo next to me answering everything I say.'

whoops

I keep bursting into laughter over this, so glad I am home alone.

[Juggsy]

I keep bursting into laughter over this, so glad I am home alone.

As much as it made me laugh, for some reason it was your initial reaction that made me laugh more - I can just imagine you sitting at your computer giglling to yourself. It's only so funny because I do it too, with certain things.

[Rach]

As much as it made me laugh, for some reason it was your initial reaction that made me laugh more - I can just imagine you sitting at your computer giglling to yourself. It's only so funny because I do it too, with certain things.

I can't stop laughing about it though, I just keep imaging his face (although I don't know what he looks like) looking all confused and trying to think of an answer in a situation where nobody should really be talking to you and then actually answering him, it is hilarious :D

[Edinburgh]

i went for a shit in the market toilets the other day - went into the cubicle dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me:
'Hello mate, how are you going?'
I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude I replied
'Yeah, not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again
'So, what are you up to mate?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said. Unsure what to say, I replied
'umm, just having a quick poo... How about yourself?'
I then heard the voice for the third time .....
'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back . I've got some `D**khead` in the loo next to me answering everything I say.'

whoops

heard it before...by about 10 different people.

[Juggsy]

heard it before...by about 10 different people.

Stop ringing people when you're having a dump in a public loo then!

[Hex]

This thread reminds me of THIS (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/333345372.html).

[Juggsy]

This thread reminds me of THIS (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/333345372.html).

That was very funny :D

[Edinburgh]

This thread reminds me of THIS (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/333345372.html).

:D:D:D:D

[Pod]

This thread made me mega lol.

[Beaker]

I've been looking at personal plates for the car. £250 including everything except actual plates. Do I feel like being a total cock?

[stephen]

i went for a shit in the market toilets the other day - went into the cubicle dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me:
'Hello mate, how are you going?'
I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude I replied
'Yeah, not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again
'So, what are you up to mate?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said. Unsure what to say, I replied
'umm, just having a quick poo... How about yourself?'
I then heard the voice for the third time .....
'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back . I've got some `D**khead` in the loo next to me answering everything I say.'

whoops

Brilliant. That's a Larry David situation if I ever heard one!

[PeteLMC]

This thread reminds me of THIS (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/333345372.html).

That's funny.

Same blog (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/589072628.html).

[joe ersatz]

heard it before...by about 10 different people.

shhh... you'll ruin the magic. :(

[NYM]

So every piece of meat you put in your mouth is in some sort of state of decomposition. .

Oral sex will never be the same again.

[topcat]

Oral sex will never be the same again.

Urgh.

Meat is murder. Bacon butties are good.

[stephen]

Oral sex will never be the same again.

Surely it isn't decomposing until the body stops growing?

Glitter was right all along.

[Beaker]

Urgh.

Meat is murder. Bacon butties are good.

What about accidentally killed meat? lets say A Cow that has been run over?

[topcat]

What about accidentally killed meat? lets say A Cow that has been run over?

EAT IT.

[partyvan<3salcmene]

What about accidentally killed meat? lets say A Cow that has been run over?

Stick a scaffold pole up its arse and fire it out of a cannon at a pen full of sheep, then eat the crushed sheep.

[topcat]

Stick a scaffold pole up its arse and fire it out of a cannon at a pen full of sheep, then eat the crushed sheep.

Are you welsh?

[Hex]

Are you welsh?


If he was, he would've just ignored the cow and honed in on the sheeps...

[piercedmilo]

I've been looking at personal plates for the car. £250 including everything except actual plates. Do I feel like being a total cock?

if you end up with a registration like B34K3R i will feel compelled to key your car every day until you rid yourself of the abomination

don't do it!

[Beaker]

if you end up with a registration like B34K3R i will feel compelled to key your car every day until you rid yourself of the abomination

don't do it!
Was thinking of G3EKE actually

[piercedmilo]

Was thinking of G3EKE actually

i'll behonest with you, it will inevitably lead to golden syrup in cpu fans, and therefore tears.

spend your money on something useful like cat5 cable or a cannon to fire at things that float too close to your little bit of the canalside :D

[Beaker]

i'll behonest with you, it will inevitably lead to golden syrup in cpu fans, and therefore tears.

spend your money on something useful like cat5 cable or a cannon to fire at things that float too close to your little bit of the canalside :D

but the plate would last pretty much forever! :D

[Hex]

but the plate would last pretty much forever! :D


As would my facepalm in your presence.

[piercedmilo]

As would my facepalm in your presence.

this


also, I think even Kait would despair at this - and probably drop you over the back wall into the canal in sackfull of bricks, and say you went for a pint of milk and never came back

[procopius]

It is my personal view that all personalised registrations should read TW4T.

[executiverocker]

Is it ok to cook and eat spaghetti bolognese at 1am?

[topcat]

It is my personal view that all personalised registrations should read TW4T.

Why? Because you can't afford one?

Pov.

[Marsha]

Is it ok to cook and eat spaghetti bolognese at 1am?oh yes. i had smash & ham the other night!

[procopius]

Why? Because you can't afford one?

Pov.

I can afford one. I can also afford a Blackberry, a Giorgio Armani suit, a fourteen-inch glow in the dark dildo and enough glue to firmly attach it to my forehead.

I choose not to buy any of these things.

[Anneka]

I can afford one. I can also afford a Blackberry, a Giorgio Armani suit, a fourteen-inch glow in the dark dildo and enough glue to firmly attach it to my forehead.

I choose not to buy any of these things.

LMAO

[partyvan<3salcmene]

but the plate would last pretty much forever! :D

I once got given a very sage piece of advice on this topic by someone I respected. I asked him why he did not have personalised plates and a stretched limo, to which he replied "Personalised plates are for people who wish others to know who they are, and stretch limos are for people who wish to take other people with them. I only care that I know who I am, and the day I need to take other people with me to get shit done is the day I've forgotten that."

[Beaker]

I once got given a very sage piece of advice on this topic by someone I respected. I asked him why he did not have personalised plates and a stretched limo, to which he replied "Personalised plates are for people who wish others to know who they are, and stretch limos are for people who wish to take other people with them. I only care that I know who I am, and the day I need to take other people with me to get shit done is the day I've forgotten that."

I was thinking along the lines of something typically stupid. I don't like the ones that are obviously there to hide the age of the car, or annoying ego plates like "TAZ", "GAZ" etc. I was thinking that "G3EKE" would be funny to have, because "G2EKY" isn't available, and when it is they'll be charging £25k or so.

[Wishfairy]

this


also, I think even Kait would despair at this - and probably drop you over the back wall into the canal in sackfull of bricks, and say you went for a pint of milk and never came back

I'm a good girl. Why is everyone scared of me?




also a simple 'NO' in mother voice suffices. Beaky... NO.

[Baby SOLD]

I can afford one. I can also afford a Blackberry, a Giorgio Armani suit, a fourteen-inch glow in the dark dildo and enough glue to firmly attach it to my forehead.

I choose not to buy any of these things.

LOL TASTIC, beer on my screen now.

[partyvan<3salcmene]

I was thinking along the lines of something typically stupid. I don't like the ones that are obviously there to hide the age of the car, or annoying ego plates like "TAZ", "GAZ" etc. I was thinking that "G3EKE" would be funny to have, because "G2EKY" isn't available, and when it is they'll be charging £25k or so.

M16 HAX is available for £144. C4 HAX is just £271. Also L01 for £172000ish, 13ET for £12985

[Beaker]

M16 HAX is available for £144. C4 HAX is just £271. Also L01 for £172000ish, 13ET for £12985

ahh, newreg prices yeah? I was looking at the DVLA direct ones, which are better that you can actually buy the things, and have the plates on the car 3 days later. NewReg are ok, except even if you are a buying an unused plate it's get to somewhat longer than that.

[partyvan<3salcmene]

I just had to step back from the brink of taking a giant shit in someone else's house and boy am I glad I did as it would have ruined a good fledgling friendship.

So despite my earlier comments, shitting etiquette now seems quite important.

Harbl, if you read this, don't come home for 3-6 hours.

[Hex]

I just had to step back from the brink of taking a giant shit in someone else's house and boy am I glad I did as it would have ruined a good fledgling friendship.

So despite my earlier comments, shitting etiquette now seems quite important.

Harbl, if you read this, don't come home for 3-6 hours.



:eek:

[Rach]

Do I go out tonight?

[Ziv]

Was thinking of G3EKE actually

well I think you should go for it, then when I get my T4SH R0CK5 we can drive round together.

[Betty]

Do I go out tonight?

depends, you got anyone to go out with tonight?

i feel stupid for drinking so much. my neck and back are killing me. wouldnt change the night for anything though :p well.. maybe change one or 3 things.

so do i go nap for an hour before work?

[Rach]

depends, you got anyone to go out with tonight?

i feel stupid for drinking so much. my neck and back are killing me. wouldnt change the night for anything though :p well.. maybe change one or 3 things.

so do i go nap for an hour before work?

Yeah, possibly

What did you do? :eek:

Yeah, naps are good.

[Betty]

Yeah, possibly

What did you do? :eek:

Yeah, naps are good.

now that would be telling ;)

i think the nap will be neccessary, i had coffee but now i am crashing again.

[Rach]

now that would be telling ;)

i think the nap will be neccessary, i had coffee but now i am crashing again.

So should it be who did you do? :eek:

Have a good nap.

[Betty]

So should it be who did you do? :eek:

Have a good nap.

nah, im a good girl. wouldnt do anything like that.

[Rach]

nah, im a good girl. wouldnt do anything like that.

I believe you!

[Betty]

I believe you!

you dont :(

[Rach]

you dont :(

Yeah I do!

I have decided not to go out after work, it would just be silly!

[partyvan<3salcmene]

i had coffee but now i am crashing again.

stronger coffee

[Betty]

stronger coffee

the coffee was from harbls. HA!

edit-nothing can stop me napping, not even strong coffee.

[partyvan<3salcmene]

the coffee was from harbls. HA!

edit-nothing can stop me napping, not even strong coffee.

How drunk are you ?

[Betty]

How drunk are you ?

i think i am sober?

[Rach]

Should I get dressed and take the children to the park or just send them in the garden to play?

I am using this thread to make all my decisions from now on!

[Wishfairy]

garden.


do i take my nap now, or finish the cleaning first?

[Rach]

garden.


do i take my nap now, or finish the cleaning first?

nap now, cleaning second

[Alcmene]

garden.


do i take my nap now, or finish the cleaning first?

NAP

[Hex]

Do I go out tonight?



This. But for me.

I'm still undecided.

[Betty]

This. But for me.

I'm still undecided.

go out, have some fun, let your hair down.


i shall be coming home and collapsing. nap helped a little but i have woken up with headache and a grumpy disposition. work is going to be hell. i can feel it.

[Hex]

go out, have some fun, let your hair down.


Hair?

i shall be coming home and collapsing. nap helped a little but i have woken up with headache and a grumpy disposition. work is going to be hell. i can feel it.


WORK 'EM LIKE SLAVES.

[Betty]

Hair?




WORK 'EM LIKE SLAVES.

i tried to make it funny, but alas it didnt work.

and i shall. except claire because she is feeling grim too.

[Hex]

and i shall. except claire because she is feeling grim too.


You could team up...

[Betty]

You could team up...

she is off at 9 but i am going to try and send her home earlier if i can. i dont like it when she is all :( so i want to send her home so she can chillax.

[Hex]

she is off at 9 but i am going to try and send her home earlier if i can. i dont like it when she is all :( so i want to send her home so she can chillax.


That's awesomely considerate of you.

[Betty]

That's awesomely considerate of you.

i know what it is like not wanting to be there plus she started at 1, which is an evil evil time on a saturday :(

[Hex]

i know what it is like not wanting to be there plus she started at 1, which is an evil evil time on a saturday :(

One 'till nine? Niiiiiiiice.